Your 30s Are Not About You


“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday Uncle Tyson…”

As we sing his 37th birthday song into the speaker phone, he is saying, “Max, please give me that car.” We hear vroom-vroom in the background, along with a baby’s cry, but the children in our living room have gathered around a djembé and are cooking up their best tribal drumming while we attempt to talk on the phone.

“So, did you do anything fun for your birthday?”

“You know, I stayed home all day for my birthday. But next year I’m going to work,” he chuckles. In the background, Max is revving his engines and sounds like he is running circles around Daddy.

My 1-year-old is jumping in the air and landing on his diaper-clad bottom on the hardwood floor, dissolving into hysterical giggles. His older sister thinks it must be fun if he’s laughing so hard, so she tries it too. Boom! Ha ha ha. Boom! Ha ha ha. Boom! Boom! Hardy-har-har!

Tyson says, “So, did you go camping recently, Rob?”

On our end, the kids are now galloping up and down the hallway, Melanie alternately dragging her brother and egging him into chasing her. The laughter and the tears are very close together.

“Yeah. Backpacking up north, actually.” A moment later, Melanie turns off the last lamp in the living room, and we are in complete darkness. Tito starts crying and walks into the coffee table. “Melanie, stop turning off the lights!” says Rob, but it’s so dark that no one can find the switch.

“Well, I should probably let you guys go.”

“Yeah,” we say. “Have a happy birthday.”

Besides the brief sentences spaced apart by screams, instructions, and pounding feet, the conversation was more like bodies on each end of the phone sharing the noises in their respective monkey houses. The thing is, phone manners aside, your thirties are not about you. These are the years of giving things up, like being the center of attention on our birthdays, or having a relaxing phone exchange in the presence of our preschool children, or laughing hard without peeing our pants.

In the meantime I try to take as much care of my health as I can. I have to be around and able to take care of everyone after all. I have been taking a health supplement that has been working great for me as of late. Learning about medicine, natural, alternative, and conventional. It’s a very interesting topic and I think it will inform my health related decisions further down the line. If you’re interested in this you can click to read more about medicines.

Yep…there will be different days someday, but right now, it’s not about me. Maybe that’s the first lesson of the second half of life.

2 Comments on Your 30s Are Not About You

  1. Holly
    October 19, 2013 at 6:50 pm (5 years ago)

    I felt as if I was right there with you and your family as you attempted to have an adult conversation. So true that the thirties are not about yourself. Shucks I’ve got another 9 more years of being selfless. ;)

  2. Adel
    October 24, 2013 at 1:51 pm (5 years ago)

    Thanks for the laugh! :D
    When I was in that awkward stage after my first son was born–too fluffy for regular clothes, not he right shape for maternity clothes, feeling generally homely and wrung out–another mom much further down the road said to me, “You have the rest of your life to be beautiful, but right now you are living for someone else.” That has always stuck with me. It’s quite beautiful, actually!


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